HayyyAAA!! Pow!! (the quest to find a man)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Category: Romance and Relationships
While I have taken some silly internet tests that claim I am mentally "80 percent male", meaning I exhibit stereotypically geeky male traits, like preferring libraries over malls or fixing a garbage disposal over cooking, I do most definitely have an obvious female trait. That is, I am attracted to men not just because of looks but because of their personality, IQ, financial potential, ability to protect me, etc.
I have been wondering lately why I tend to be attracted to men with very little money, remedial jobs, and who are perhaps even living with their parents (temporarily) while in their 30s. I have learned the hard way to not be "helpy", for it will suck away their manhood and they will resent me. So I don't believe I like them because I want to help them. No, that is not it. But I have been confused as to what it IS.
I had an epiphany during kick-box aerobics yesterday. I use it as meditation, punching and kicking my problems in the air full force for an hour, kneeing my stress smack in the face. I don't do silly elbows like the other women who slap their palms as per the instructor's instructions. I do serious Muay Thai style drop elbows that I learned in cage-fighting school, using my whole body. I don't look in the mirror. I look at my invisible opponent. Sometimes it's an unpaid bill, a source of confusion, maybe a frustrating guy. Clear thoughts tend to pop into my mind as I do this.
What popped into my mind yesterday was more simple than I would have expected. I realized that I don't have destructive-relationship-baggage-helpy issues after all. I just have an unusual balance when it comes to what I am attracted to. Maybe because I'm mentally 80 percent male?
Most women balance a man's looks with their other traits that I mentioned above. If a man is really good looking then he can get away with making less money, for instance. If they are financially well off they can get away with being less attractive. Everybody knows this.
But most women at least give each trait a fair amount of observation, whether consciously or not, before the attraction settles in.
What I realized is that I am lopsided, being almost purely attracted to a man's ability to protect and nurture my mind. If his IQ and personality show me this, he becomes very physically attractive to me. The other traits come into play, but to a much smaller degree.
For instance, my financial threshold is way higher than most women's - hearing that a man has money just doesn't trigger anything in me. I would prefer a man with a great mind who works at Dominos Pizza over a millionaire who cannot stimulate me intellectually. If he is a billionaire I might suddenly think he is a hottie. But that has never been my fortune.
I don't need to be protected physically or taken care of monetarily, so maybe that's why their ability to do so hardly enters my mind until it's too late - I already have a deep crush and just can't think clearly after that.
I am an emotional being. I think deep thoughts, and when I can find a man who actually understands what I'm talking about, agrees for the most part, but can straighten me out and educate me further in a warm and caring way, I find it to be a serious turn on.
Guys with high IQs who do an incredible amount of deep thinking often get so lost in their cerebral adventures - whether it's in the form of actual thinking, typing, music, or other forms of intellectual expression - that they let their lives run off without them. These are the guys I end up with.
I am unreasonably passionate, bouncing off to that blissful state of newfound love immediately and without question. It is always the guy who reminds me, "I need to get my life together first." That used to put my flame out. But as of yesterday I suddenly understand that if I am to have what is important to me - a beautiful mind - I may need to exercise an unusual amount of patience. I've got to let them get their life together.
Or, perhaps I will just punch, kick and elbow the air for n number of years until that high IQ man with the great personality comes along with his life already in tact. I know that time has to come someday! I just need to make good use of my lonely years until that day comes. Focus, lady, focus!
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